Whole

I’m scanning the internet for a meme, a joke… something to express all of my fears as something light and silly, something laughable to get it off my chest…but there isn’t anything. I want a way to say it all out loud because I’ve been carrying it around for weeks, and I don’t know how... Continue Reading →

Snowflakes

I think it's been about five years, and people still ask about you. I think it's been five years because I don't count.  I've never counted.  I try not think about it at all. When I do try to talk about you, I never know where to begin. The first time I saw you and... Continue Reading →

Windows

I want to go to his house and break all his windows.  I want to take everything that means anything to him, and curb stomp it into the ground.  I want to punch him in the stomach a thousand times, until he finally hurts as much as I do, and when he does he will... Continue Reading →

Fall

I've been doing everything I possibly can not to write about you. I shut down my computer.  I make more plans.  I thwart my own desire to write. I don't tell friends your name, I won't introduce you.  I put your flowers on the coffee table and stuffed the hand written note into the top left... Continue Reading →

Art. Cynicism.

Travis comes to visit me, but I'm blue, and I'm lousy company.  I shrug, and apologize for being in the doldrums. "My body is broken and so is my heart.  That's all I've got going on right now, and I don't want to bore anyone with it." He tells me that people aren't bored by... Continue Reading →

NYE

Three... two... one...  And the room goes wild. He kisses me.  He tastes like you think a man should.  His arms are wrapped around me, clutching my back to shield me from the crowd.  We are pressed tight, an ocean of champagne and shouting. He downs the last of an enormous beer, crashes the glass... Continue Reading →

Away We Go

We're having a beer at the pub, and me being me, I'm being an asshole.  Other than a brief flirt at an alumni event, I hadn't seen Kyle in about a month.  I'd skipped town, and he'd facebooked me, asking to hang out while I was surfing in Central America. "You were ridiculous," I chide... Continue Reading →

Battle Scars

There's battle scars on all my guitars but I still come out here and play - Ozma At this point, I've given up on the idea that any one of these surgeries will cure me.  When people smile and say lovely things like, "It's so great, after this surgery you'll be better!"  I smile and... Continue Reading →

Nineteen

The first time I heard this song, you were stretched out on your back in the emptied out shell of Charlie’s van.  The three of us had stayed out all night, and come sun up, bleary-eyed and drunk on adventure, you were driving me back to my dorm room.  Lying down in the spot where... Continue Reading →

One.

Every mother has one story about each child that, over and over, they still love to tell. In this one, I am standing in the grocery store, maybe four years old - up to her knees or so - and I tug on her jeans. “Mommy! Mom! Moooooom!” I say, eyes full and round. She... Continue Reading →

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