I think it's been about five years, and people still ask about you. I think it's been five years because I don't count. I've never counted. I try not think about it at all. When I do try to talk about you, I never know where to begin. The first time I saw you and... Continue Reading →
I want to go to his house and break all his windows. I want to take everything that means anything to him, and curb stomp it into the ground. I want to punch him in the stomach a thousand times, until he finally hurts as much as I do, and when he does he will... Continue Reading →
I've been doing everything I possibly can not to write about you. I shut down my computer. I make more plans. I thwart my own desire to write. I don't tell friends your name, I won't introduce you. I put your flowers on the coffee table and stuffed the hand written note into the top left... Continue Reading →
The thing I didn't mention about my birthday is my toes. Okay, I did mention my toes. My shoes. What I didn't mention is that since I've lost the heels people would compliment with envy; the beauty, the stride, and the height... if I'm wearing a pretty dress I don't know what to do with... Continue Reading →
A little over two years ago, I started taking photographs. I started taking photographs of the gowns I wore - the pills I took. I started taking photographs of pain. At first, I thought it was a weird, pop culture, selfie compulsion... but I wasn't sharing these photos. They never touched a twitter or a... Continue Reading →
The day I was born, my father didn't speak. He sang. They wrapped me in a bundle and put me in his arms; the youngest, the first and only girl. There's a faded picture of him cradling me, smiling, singing. "I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month... Continue Reading →
Travis comes to visit me, but I'm blue, and I'm lousy company. I shrug, and apologize for being in the doldrums. "My body is broken and so is my heart. That's all I've got going on right now, and I don't want to bore anyone with it." He tells me that people aren't bored by... Continue Reading →
I hate planning birthdays. I just hate it. I don't like the stress of having to plan a whole party and make sure it goes well when all I want to do is relax and have fun. I worry if everyone has enough ice. I don't like the fact that half the people who RSVP... Continue Reading →
I pursued my faith like a hungry animal. I pursued it like my life depended on it. I thought it did. I don't like to be mediocre at anything. In college, my rabid quest to deconstruct my faith led to the belief that if I really wanted to understand the texts, I needed historical context.... Continue Reading →
He isn't the type to show up in your doorway, and that's a good thing. When I watch the wrong movie and the man tells the woman he respects her for her tenacity and strength, and that he wants her to be successful because she's earned it, I cry; he doesn't come. When the janitor... Continue Reading →
ifoundyouinthedark 