I’m scanning the internet for a meme, a joke… something to express all of my fears as something light and silly, something laughable to get it off my chest…but there isn’t anything. I want a way to say it all out loud because I’ve been carrying it around for weeks, and I don’t know how... Continue Reading →
Break Them, Lose Them, Leave Them
Lauren and I are decorating the tree. We're decorating the tree because it is December, because I'm a flexible Jew, and because Lauren is princessy enough to counteract all of my not caring about anything at all. So we have a tree, and we're putting pink tulle around it. That's how Lauren rolls. I'm lucky... Continue Reading →
Snowflakes
I think it's been about five years, and people still ask about you. I think it's been five years because I don't count. I've never counted. I try not think about it at all. When I do try to talk about you, I never know where to begin. The first time I saw you and... Continue Reading →
Windows
I want to go to his house and break all his windows. I want to take everything that means anything to him, and curb stomp it into the ground. I want to punch him in the stomach a thousand times, until he finally hurts as much as I do, and when he does he will... Continue Reading →
Birthday to You.
I hate planning birthdays. I just hate it. I don't like the stress of having to plan a whole party and make sure it goes well when all I want to do is relax and have fun. I worry if everyone has enough ice. I don't like the fact that half the people who RSVP... Continue Reading →
Doorways.
He isn't the type to show up in your doorway, and that's a good thing. When I watch the wrong movie and the man tells the woman he respects her for her tenacity and strength, and that he wants her to be successful because she's earned it, I cry; he doesn't come. When the janitor... Continue Reading →
Horizontal
I hated the way you said I had no "values" because I see people with compassion. Because I believe love has solved more problems than condemning ever has. Because I believe your version of justice would leave the world with blank eye sockets and toothless gums, choking down their own teeth. I hated the way... Continue Reading →
Too
It isn't until the morning after - the sunlight streaming through the half ripped out vertical blinds - that I really feel like shit. I only had one drink last night, followed by plastic cup after plastic cup of water, and a cold walk in the dark from downtown. I had spent two hours crying... Continue Reading →